and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
