I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
