im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
