so explain again why im purple
no
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
