im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Drake has all the answers
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
