And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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