It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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