non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
