I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
