My room smells like vodka and shame
it wasn't lemon gatorade
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
