Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
