No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
