I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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