marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
