I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize