she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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