I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
