I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
