I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
