Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
