is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
