Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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