She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Randomize
