dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
