So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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