i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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