Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
