people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
