So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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