the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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