he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
