and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
