We're like a lot better than the average bears
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
