I want to stick my p in your. b.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
