i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
