Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
