he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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