Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
