I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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