bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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