no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We don't watch enough power rangers
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
