Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
