at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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