Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
