That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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