This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
