Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
