If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
