The maid of honor just puked.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
God, I missed his penis.
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