I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
