So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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