so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
