ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't think brook has ever known best
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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