so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
