Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
