Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
